What I learned from "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck"

Consider it a review from the POV of a new reader, because it is, this is literally the first book I have ever read (that I read without anyone else telling me at least), but it's just my opinion and what I feel like I took away from the book, and if you have not read it, maybe you can find some inspiration here to pick it up and give it a try.

Firstly, Mark's writing style is raw, unfiltered and conversational, reading it felt like I was having a conversation with a friend sitting on a couch and he was telling me stories from his life, this style intrigued me and kept me engaged in the book. The major point the book conveys is that, we worry too much about things that have a minor impact on our lives, if we choose not to "give a fuck" about them, it really won't make anything go wrong and we'd be able to have a much relaxed mind. Although it doesn't mean that you ought to be indifferent about everything, Mark insists that people should "give a fuck" about things that are actually worth "giving a fuck" about. He also says that when a person has no problems, his mind automatically finds a way to invent some, he argues that finding something meaningful in our lives is the best way to be productive, if we don't have that something, or that purpose, our "fucks" will be given to other more meaningless cases.

Another point that I found really interesting is that "the key to happiness is solving problems", Mark claims that we are always solving problems, for a middle class person it would be let's say going on a nice 10 days vacation, for a much richer person it could be to buy a new Camaro, the point is, when you accomplish going on a holiday or getting a new car it gives you happiness, and then you move on to solving a new problem. That is a segment in the book I found really true and practical. This forms the base for another argument that says to find success in anything you have to go through a struggle, and it's only the people who enjoy the struggle, will find success, for example, to have a great physique, you need to enjoy the pain and fatigue that you will get in the gym, to have a cash cow business, you need to enjoy the hustle and frequent one-nighters. 

Mark also gave us an insight into his personal life and his dating problems, and told us what values helped him create a great relationship with his better half, when you take responsibility for your actions in a relationship, when you don't take the other person for granted, is how you build a good relationship. Basically, choose to "give a fuck" about the important people and things in your life. This advice helped me personally as well in my current relationship, I was not lost but this book surely helped me set straight.

The value system that this book projects is one to look at. The story of Second Lieutenant Hiroo Onoda of Japan forms the base for it. Basically, there are good values and there are bad values and self-improvement is about choosing to prioritize better values over the bad values.

Another great learning this book imparts is about failure, and how failure defines success, no one is born great at anything, we find what we like to do, try to learn how to do it, fail, and then eventually get the hang of it. The book says, "if someone is better than you at something, then it's likely because she has failed at it more times than you have", this is one line that stuck with me and pretty much sums up the lesson. Don't be afraid of failure as it is the part of the process.

The power of NO, and the role of rejection in life is a point this book touches on briefly, but it applies to me very well as I mostly do not say no to things, both in my professional and social life. The book agues that we must "give a fuck" about something in order to value it, and to value something, we need to reject other things that cause and hindrance to it. Mark teaches this while telling us how he applied rejection to his relationships, he says that he and his wife value trust more than anything, hence, he tells his wife whatever is on his mind as is, no sugarcoating, and that's what has made their relationship stronger over time.

The last chapter of this book is pretty heavy, dealing with the death of Mark's friend and how it changed his life forever, it seems like Mark actually thinks he owes a lot of his success to that incident, and how it was a turning point in his life, how it made him travel the world, meet people and got him where he is today.

All in all, this was the first book I actually read, and it was interesting, it kept me intrigued, and engaged, I tried to report my learnings here, and that is what stuck with me after I closed the last page and what I will try to apply in my own life. And as a noobie reader, I would ask any bookworms who stumbled upon this blog to recommend me some good reads, thanks.